On Valentine's Day 2004, on the corner of Bedford and 7th street, leaning against a pole, I found this drawing. I waited for about a minute and when no one showed up to claim it, I carried it home and gave it to my boyfriend. It looked like him when he was younger and I saw it as a good sign that I had found a drawing of us on Valentine's Day.

A year later when we broke up for good, I took the plank of wood back. I stashed it in a corner of my apartment and forgot about it. I had started dating a new boy and the first five months were everything I had dreamed of... romance, passion, delicious meals he would cook for me. When he asked for a week long time-out, it was very difficult to let him go. He said although I was the best partner he had been with, he was haunted by demons and needed some time to think. I cried, waited, threw Tarot spreads over and over again until I got the answer I wanted, I asked my friends to do Tarot spreads for me and even went so far as to confide in my Mother. After 10 days we met at the MET and got back together. We decided to talk more openly and I also pledged to start exercising and be more active.

On May 5, 2006 we went bike riding in the Lower East Side. He rode in front of me and failed to notice when I fell off my bike. The tibia bone broke the skin. There was no blood and I could see it peeking thru as I was trying to hold my leg together. The fibula bone may still be broken - doctors have reassured me you don't really need it to be whole. It was the most severe injury i had in 34 years. It was the first time we said "I love you", after I waited for 10 hours to get surgery. It took about 9 months for the nerve damage I had to regenerate itself, allowing me to move my big toe. I asked him to stand by me and he did, as best his personality allowed. Once I recovered after the 2nd surgery which removed the titanium rod that had been inserted thru my knee into the tibia bone, held together by 2 big screws and 4 nails, we finally broke up.

I don't know exactly when I pulled out the wooden drawing again but I remember a cold fear running thru my body when I realized the woman's left leg was broken below the knee, and that she was holding 2 roses. He had given me 2 beautiful Valentine's Day flower bouquets for the 2 years we were together. The ladder in the background has 13 rungs. Our first date was on May 13th and we tried to celebrate the 13th of each month. I wasn't able to figure out why the man is half horse - and now I think I know. This boy was a Gemini and it makes perfect sense to me.

Last summer I wanted to take this sign to BurningMan and destroy it but then got scared that I may unleash some dark angry force. My future husband who introduced me to the desert (and to my first adult, mutually loving relationship) did not freak out when I showed him the drawing and the signs within. I've considered emailing the artist, I saw a poster with his information last year, but I'm afraid of making contact with someone who foretold so much sadness for me. Did finding this drawing cause my misfortune, or was this a warning I failed to understand? In this regard, I remain in the dark.

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I posted this as part of a "ghost" project. reading all the entries made me love the internet again.